My universe would test me repeatedly. It wanted to see if I was serious about my choice of servicing humanity. It wanted to see if I would repeat the same patterns and loops. Would I reenter the matrix programing? Would I compromise my vibration? Would I compromise over love or money? These were questions that I would revisit through all of 2019. Sure, my universe had sent me test before. But I was not at an awareness level to identify them. I could not see them before. Every time I felt like my finances were in shambles and I had made the biggest mistake of my life, a job opportunity would present.
It became my marker for a new chapter. I would look at the offer and have to decide. Did I truly believe that my universe would take care of me or not? Did I really believe I had cleared all this programming and gone through this entire process to end up homeless on the street? I will be honest, sometimes I did not know. There were days when I was in such peace and bliss inside and there were days when I felt so human.
The human days I would identify as clearing moments. I had to bitch and fuss and get the energy out of my system. I could not let in remain there. If I was angry, I would go in a room and vent it out. If I wanted to cry, I would go in a room and do that too. I know my progress had been immense but it didn’t feel that way to my human. It would not see all the work I had done on myself. It was like having two parts of myself battling it out. Would I go back to the old or would I keep going down the road to “enlightenment?”
Funny how the road to enlightenment seemed to be so tricky to our human. Mostly because our human doesn’t want to take a backseat and let someone else drive the bus. There is nothing enlightened about our human aspect. I would always say it was a small child wanting its way. The issue was it did not know what was best. It was child. I learned to treat it as such but somedays that child would tantrum. Those were the days I stayed away from people.
Every time I thought I was at DEFCON ONE a job offer would come in. Would I get scared and go back or would I keep going? I would say to my universe “if it is not aligned with my most amazing realities remove it.” I didn’t want that stuff anymore. I didn’t want to waste time playing out more karmic timelines that would lead to the same dead end. There had to be something better for me.
I started to use one simple rule. Did the opportunity excite me? It was that simple after a while. Would I do it for free? If I could not answer yes to both of those questions, then I would say no. It sounds to simple right? It is simple. When I would live from my highest aspects my life would be very simple. When I would get caught up in my head, then I would play out the worst scenarios.
Money was not anything to strive for. It made things easier. In the history of the world, it has never made anyone happy. It’s not designed to make anyone happy. It is a response to the energy transmitted. I had to prove that I would use the money wisely before I would get it. The rules are different once we expand our awareness. If we choose to not play in the matrix, the matrix can’t support us. My human couldn’t be trusted. That was certain. I had to have transcended a massive amount of human programing before money would flow in.
My universe would test my resolve many times regarding money. A few times I compromised and took the money because I was scared that I would not get any more. Every time I compromised; I would create a karmic timeline. Then I would have to work through that energy. It always taught me something about myself.
Now it is worth mentioning that sometimes a test was not a test after all. It was a gift my universe would send me. When I was in my toughest moments, I had to decipher the difference. It’s not that it is tricky. It just changes through different phases. For example, by January of 2019 I had turned down two full time finance job because I knew they were not aligned with realities I wanted to experience. I could not spend my time playing in those old energies and simultaneously still establish new realities. Those days were done.
Money shifted for me at a certain point. It wasn’t what the money would do for me. It was what I could do with the money. Money was for everybody. It was not my money. It was just money. It didn’t matter but it was necessary to fund the next phase of my journey.
I wonder if I would be doing more sessions in the Fall/Winter. How many hours could I commit to knowing that I would not be around to service them in person. Once we can see our next timeline, we see all the things we have to do to close out the old one. It was time to get the house ready to sell and decide what furniture I would be taking.
That was one test I had passed. I no longer procrastinated. If I knew a timeline was wrapping up, I would start doing the footwork. If I knew I had to upgrade the house, I would pick out paint and flooring months before the money would arrive. That was why my realities were not a whirlwind anymore. I had seen them coming months or years in advance. I had to get everything in place to anchor them in this reality. It was as if I was telling my universe, “I am ready, bring it on!”