Another woman gave birth to my son July 25, 2016. Did I know at the time he would be my son? No. I had no idea the impact that little man would have on my life. I was never a person that had wanted children. Not seriously. At times I thought I wanted them because it was what people did. Other times I wanted them because I wanted something to love. Perhaps it was also acceptance in to some secret society of parenthood. A rite of passage, some might say. Never the less, whether my human wanted it or not, there he was.
The first time I saw him he was 1 day old. His mother lived next door. At that time, we were friends but I didn’t fully understand the impact that she would have on my life either. I helped out as she recovered from the birth. I was there when she needed a baby sitter. I grew closer to that child then I ever thought I could. They say you don’t really know love till you have a child. I agree with that. They activate a different aspect of you. I would do anything for him. He showed me the place I should come from all the time. All my interaction should be from that selfless place. All he wanted was time. My time. He would reach for me and cry. That would tug at heart strings I didn’t even know I had. He opened my heart so huge. He was the most amazing thing that I ever created.
I would video the first time he rolled over. Don’t even get me started when the little man was crawling up and down my steps. Before I knew it, he was running. There was nothing in my house that he had not impacted. There was even a blue step stool so he could brush his teeth. The first three years of his life went so fast. It was as if time speed up and before I knew it, he would embark on his next phase. We would both cry the first day he went to preschool. For all accounts, he was the child I never had.
Many people thought he was mine. We would spend our summer days playing in the neighborhood. Most of the time, if I was outside, he was closely following behind me. Those days were filled with so much joy. Over a span of three years, I became “Net.” When he wanted a playmate, I was his first choice. No matter the inner emotions and self-doubt I was clearing during that span of my life, he made me laugh.
Soon my garage had been invaded by baby motorcycles, strollers and bikes. There was even a car seat in the car. Backpacks, cars and lunchboxes were scattered around the house. It was official. I had become a mother. Granted I was not his full-time mom. But in that time in my life, which was void of people, he was a lifeline. He made that time in my life, not so lonely. He was a connection that came to me from out of nowhere.
A connection I would study as my awareness expanded. Especially when we hit the terrible twos and tumultuous threes. His tantrums were the birth of his little ego. Over time I would understand that he was mirroring my ego back at me. If I wanted something really bad, my ego was doing the same things he was, it was just doing it energetically. I would mirror my progress by how his tantrums phased in and out. It never failed that ever time, he was going through one of those phases, I could look in my life and see where I had dug my heals in too. The minute I cleared the energy his tantrums would subsided. It was a marvel to witness.
I learned so much from him. I would watch him bravely tackle one challenge after another with no fear. If he fell down, he would cry, but then in a moment it was forgotten. That was an aspect I needed to embody. There was no shame in falling down, getting lost back in programing again. I would clear it and normally that meant tears, then I would forget it. Remembering it would only recreate the same events to reoccur. When we really want to learn about ascension, look at a child. They already know all of this.
He wasn’t a talker. At the age of three, his speech was fragmented and hard to understand. He had his own language which few understood. I would say it was because our connection was so strong, he didn’t have to speak. I knew what my baby wanted. We were so connected and telepathic that words seemed to be wasted. I still teach that. It’s the place that we come from that matters not the words we say. I think he was my physical reminded of that every day.
My relationship with his mother had grown too. Although more children had come, he remained the apple of my eye. He knew it to. In my eyes, he did no wrong. When the terrible two’s and three’s hit, we weathered the storm together. It was the perfect sit up. I got to experience all parts of being a mother but I didn’t have the full-time fiscal responsibility of it. For the first time, I understood that being a mother was a full time job. All the other soul purposes I had agreed to left no time to be a full-time parent. So, in a divine fashion, I got to have the experience in my own way.
In my heart, I knew the day would come, when they would move away……