**** 2026 Annette **** My most challenging years would change as I continued my journey. There was a moment I would say my 2000 - 2008 physical mystery (at the time) “illness” was the worst. Later, I would say my 2013 - 2015 awakening was the toughest. Don’t get me started on 2019 when anything left of my human life collapsed included my finances. Or 2022 when I found myself in the “same” (not really…a deeper clearing) financial place and went home to live with my parents. That was challenging for my human.
All these years pushed me past limits. I found a determination I did not know I had. I feel this was written in 2019. But as you read you will feel the victim energy in the text. I felt robbed of my human life. I felt I had done everything and nothing was working in the new realities. I felt like a failure. I felt like a loser. I felt like I was sold a “bill of goods” regarding higher consciousness realities that were not materializing.
Turns out they were. They just were not what my human wanted so I spiraled out a bit ********
I was determined to recommitted myself to the new. I would spend time on the internet looking at a new Halloween costume or sizing up a new hair style. Anything to refocus my mind off of my current situation. It was not to avoid. It was the exact opposite. It was acceptance or where things were. It was peace for the place I was in. I was working through the worry and anxiety. I wanted these realties to unanchored. My vibration had to be lifted out of the current situations and strike a new tune.
My issue was holding that new vibration long enough to break the realty. My human would want it to shift in one hour/day/week. Sometimes it could take weeks or months before I would see tiny shift. Especially the deep-rooted programming. What I came to realize was it didn’t matter what I focused on, as long as it was not the old energies of lack and longing. I would no longer discuss the current situations unless I was utilizing the story to teach. In the end, that was all it was. It was a story. It was an old story. It’s only purpose at this point was to teach others.
If I kept telling it to myself out loud or in my mind, I was recreating it. I would remain stuck in the mental prison of my creation. I could not will anyone to change. But I could shift my energy. That was all I had control over. I had to master my energy.
That was the entire purpose of this journey. I had to not be afraid of letting go of everything and jumping with both feet. I learned that each one of us had a roadmap. If we stuck to the road map we would end up in certain places at specific times. If we ignored our intuition long enough, we might get an unpleasant reality collapse to get us back on the right road. Let’s face it. We had certain people to meet. We had contracts to fulfill.
On my original map, a certain cycle could have taken me 2 years to work through. If I worked through it consciously, I could do a two year “lesson” in two months. Sure, this was intense. A lot of people and situations coming in and moving out very quickly. But I was moving the needle. I did not require the experiences anymore. I would cut them off at the pass. That was the purpose of quantum jumping. I no longer wanted to spin my wheels for years at a time letting the energy chip away slowly. I would smash the door down and let the bricks fall.
Most of the time it was more like a house of cards falling. It was not more fear involved in the letting it all fall, then the fall itself. When I say this is an intense process that is an understatement. It is more than intense. It makes you face fear like that you never really knew you had. It makes you look at the judgement you have around certain realities. It made me look at myself and what I had created. Sometimes I created things that were so beautiful. Other times, I created things that were distorted and driven from my ego. I had to be willing to look at all of it. Do my best not to judge any of it. Then move on and try to create something better.
Most days I thought the people with sign on the corners had more money than I did. It was probably true. There were days I had $3 and I would drive the streets looking for someone to gift that money to. Gifting money made me feel better. I also broke fear programming when I rolled down my window and shared a moment if kindness with another soul.
Most weeks, I would have enough to get groceries and that was it. Now that was fear I had never experienced. I was so afraid that people would find out I had nothing. My human felt I had lost everything and had nothing to show. I can’t say that aspect of me was off the mark. In the human world, I had nothing of value. My presence held no value there.
Money, Success and Obedience is what that world valued. I had none of that left.
I would be forgotten by the human realities. Even the bill collectors gave up after months of not getting paid.
People like me don’t just walk out of their old life. I had been a obedient human for 46 years now I was something else.
Or on my way to becoming something else.