My Ascension Diary - Part 10

I Transcend The Second Twin. Just In Time for My Third

What was I mourning? I didn’t even know. It was one more thing that didn’t work out. Even though at that point I had become a Usui Reiki Master and was more open than ever before, I was still in the matrix. I was open to my connection but not able to hold it. I thought I was so expansive but I was still in the very beginning phases of my journey. I hadn’t even scratched the surface. I had no idea how much human programming I had to work though. Funny how enlightened I thought I was. I was more open then I had ever been but my journey had so many miles to it.

We said we would stay in touch. Part of me knew that he would forget once the college reality started for him. He did forget. We tried to schedule phone calls but he would cancel them. Eventually, I stopped trying and he didn’t step up to the plate. In the end, I was disheartened. There was a part of me that thought we would be friends and occasional lovers.

He faded away. I would hear from mutual friends that he was in town to visit but I never got a phone call. He had moved on and that is what I wanted for him. We had parted in a beautiful space. I was disappointed and I didn’t even know why.

Another byproduct of my twins, they pushed me deeper inside. I would spend more time meditating and trying to connect with myself. I was motivated because I wanted them back. I could connect with them energetically. I would also start to find my dream space was expanded. Though in those moments I didn’t fully understand the dream world. I would start with one understanding and switch my feeling on it many times over. One thing for sure, these twins had done a number on me. They had shown me things within myself that shocked me. I didn’t really want to deal with it. It felt like too much. Eventually, I would find peace again. It wasn’t peace that I would know later but I wasn’t crying in the grocery store. I would feel the energies change and I would look toward a new horizon. The issue was I was still not in a consciousness to understand I kept creating the same realities.

October 2014 – My Third Twin Arrives

The year 2014 was big in my journey. It was not because it gave me love or money. In fact, I lost my job in August of that year and for the first time started thinking about a change. I had wanted to start my own Reiki practice. I would rent a space and start looking at the numbers to see how feasible it was. Part of me wanted to leave the corporate world behind. But part of me knew it was not the right time. I settled on a job in Alexandria with a part time Reiki practice. The day I got the job, which eased my panic over money, I meet my third twin.

I remember that night was the peak of a full moon. I was celebrating my new job and there he was. He was buying a drinks for another woman and asked me if he was being cheap on the tip. I told him he was and that was that. We knew on some level we had business together. Here I go again.

Yes, he was also tall, dark and handsome. He was six years my junior. I can’t say it was love at first site. At least not for me. Honestly, my first twin was still on my mind. In those moments, I believed it was due to the abrupt ending. I would soon learn that there were no good endings. The fact that it ended was the unsettling part. No matter how the ending occurred it was still disappointing.

I started to see a pattern emerge. My first twin the relationship had no emotional connection. The second twin had a deep emotional connection. But it was not about them. It was me. I was deeper inside. I had more depth, so these encounters did to. The third twin….oh boy. I thought it had everything. I thought he was everything.

From the start, this twin showed me what a man would do when he wanted to be with someone. He wanted to spend all his spare time with me. I admit it was a nice change a pace but there was still a part of me that was not sure. He had a high stress job that consumed him. Although, this relationship did not have the same physical obstacles that the others had, on some level I knew time was short. I think on an unconscious level, he did too. So we dove in, head first.