The human procrastinates. I used to. But I learned that being ready to jump when the opportunities presented was key now. I would not waste time or energy rushing around. I would be ready to go. It removed the obstacles for me. I learned to do what I saw and not ask why or when. When my vibration was in that reality, then the money or opportunity would come. That was how it worked here.
That was why I didn’t get excited about things anymore. I had known it was coming for so long that by the time it got here, I was expecting it. I would say to myself, “Finally.” For I knew how hard I had worked for that. Whatever it was. I knew.
I had an understanding of what to do. I thought. But 2019 Would Break My Ego.
Understanding the energy of money would be one of my toughest task. By 2019, I understood that money was just energy. It was a vibrational response to what I was putting out. I had also learned that in higher dimensional realities you had to create enough momentum to bring it forth. In addition, I had to stop playing in all the lack games with money. Some of the games I didn’t even know I was playing. It seemed like I never had enough to live the life I wanted.
Each corporate job I had would give me enough to sustain a certain standard of living but I never gained any ground. My salaries in the corporate world were close to $110,000. It seemed I could never get past that number. No matter how hard I tried none of those jobs worked out. I understand know that they were not supposed to.
I was in a loop. There were some jobs I enjoyed but for the most part I was bored. Each new job brought me some new people but the end was always the same. I felt like I was always getting nowhere. I would watch other people take their careers to the next level and feel a sense of failure. It took a while for me to comprehend the fact, that these jobs were not supposed to work out. They would support me while I got my other soul aligned realities going.
Problem was I didn’t realize how long that would take. I don’t know why I was surprised. It took me 43 years to build my human realities. Why did I expect my soul aligned ones to be instant? I would take years to build the foundations of these realities. I would start to see slivers of how it worked. The foundation was simple. I was to be in service to the collective. That was what I got up every day and did. Some days I would do better than others. It was hard for my human not to worry about the money. But I did my best to shift the program to focusing on all the things I had.
In 2019, I had to completely jump into my work and not look back. I thought about going back to the corporate world. But part of me knew when my last corporate job ended in August of 2018, I was done. I couldn’t go back if I wanted to. It was like trying to board a sinking ship. There was nothing to go back to. I knew what those realities were. They ended in the same place. Yes, they were safer. Yes, they gave me a steady paycheck but I never got anywhere.
I wanted more. I wanted to live the impossible dream. I wanted to take my work to humanity. That was the end game. How would I get there? I didn’t know. I asked my universe to show me how and I followed that advice. It was slow coming though. I would flirt with realities. Mine were anchoring in a little at a time. It would cause a different type of clearing.
I thought my twins had showed me how much fear and lack I carried. Money would bring up greed and fear I never knew existed. I would make the same mistake over and over again. I call it a mistake but at the time I wasn’t at the consciousness to see it. Technically, I didn’t know any better. Once I knew better that was when the choice was mine. I could continue down the same paths or opt out. In 2019, whether by force or fate, I opted out.
I had no money coming in when 2019 started. My savings was gone. My retirement savings had been depleted over the years from poor fiscal choices. I was scared and had no idea what was going to come next. My universe would send me test. Anytime, I was really in the fear of no money, a corporate job would come along. I would use one guideline, “if money was not an issue, would I take this job?” In other words, would I compromise over the money? I couldn’t anymore. My body would physically feel ill when I was doing the phone interviews.
Funny thing was I would still think about it. My feelings should have been enough for me to say no. That is a guideline for me know. My feelings are enough. If I don’t feel good about something, it’s a no. I don’t need a secondary clarifier anymore.
I started living off my credit card. That was the beginning of the end.